THE PASS-UP

                                        Rony Brown

                           Episode one- DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

 


Take a moment; imagine a world where you could pick a club and smash anybody’s head for any reason, say, you just don’t like the person. What if I told you that world exists and that this world is mine?

Well let’s do away with the “What ifs” because it is a reality; my reality.

Fine, I have smashed a head or two. But I tell you, I’m better. Some people are on their fiftieth head and smashing. Something definitely has to change. And change is definitely coming!

I am a native of SIIT which stands for “Solum Inferno in Terra” and it means the only hell on earth. We Siitians occupy the fifth and last dimension on this planet earth. And talking about change has landed me the day job of the king’s jester. After all, change has not occurred in how many years?

NEVER!

So I earn a living entertaining the high class in our society. The bare truth is that I am not even a bit funny. But these high class people are just starved of fun. Won’t you be if you had to look over your shoulder every minute for someone who is ready to obliterate your head?

That means I have my work cut out for me. All I need is to just open my mouth and I have them where I want- rolling on the floor.

But that’s just how I earn my living. In truth, I am the all-knowing sage. I know everything. For one, I can tell you are reading right now. Yea, I know! I am just that good.

After all, why would I be alive if the king could just smash my head after one of my many bad jokes?

I am his secret weapon; the reason why someone has not smashed his head already.

But today is the day. The stars are aligned and I finally found my favourite drawers. (You have no idea how long I’ve been looking for them.)

CHANGE HAS COME TO SIIT.

There is a story in the first dimension of this earth. This first dimension is occupied by an interesting species, I tell you. Humans! That word definitely leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Wait a moment. Let me go wash my mouth.

…

So, where was I? Oh yes, the story- Alice in wonderland. It tells of a girl who fell through a rabbit hole into a whole new world. And after such a grand piece of work dear Lewis Carroll has made they dare call it fiction! Humans! Erhm…

***gag***

A moment please.

…

All over the world, in all five dimensions of it, there are many portals. Through these portals we can transport in and out of our realm into other realms. Today the savior of this dimension will fall through one of these portals.

She’d be here in five, four, three, two, one!

Voila!

Wait for it...
Wait for it...

Let the dust settle. I am sure she would be a carian from the third dimension. I tell you, those ones can change all five dimensions with just one bat of their eyes.

She is wearing something blue. It sure is tattered. Why would she wear something this tattered? And she is dark skinned. No way!

SHE IS HUMAN!

Our kind is doomed! O, I need to take a moment and compose myself!

***wiping away my tears***

…

What was that flash of light? I think she is taking what (from now on the h- word is being replaced with grrr) the grrs call a selfie. A selfie?

No way that’s our savior.

Look! Another selfie. Now, what is it that she’s doing with her behind? And why is her lips swollen all of a sudden?

Click; another flash of light.

This is such a sore sight. What a great disappointment! Good thing I can hear some farmers coming. They are probably going to smash her head into bits and pieces now.

Fine with me. Would have done it myself if I wasn’t in my favourite drawers.

“Hey! Hey!” The farmers are rushing towards her. I am going to relish this moment.
Click; flash of light.

The farmers are stunned. I bet they do not know of the evil selfie machine and its wonders. It freezes you and pastes a horrid version of yourself on its screen.

The farmers approach cautiously. But this human is brave. That is not a virtue they are known to flaunt, unless of course it’s their mating season and they have to impress the opposite sex. Grrs!

She shows them their frozen selves. They are impressed. They hang an ear translator over her ears. Obviously, we don’t speak the same barbaric language they speak. The farmers by doing this have welcomed her. This is such a non-siitian trait.

Somebody slap me! I see it now. Indeed, our savior has come!

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